Seersucker forever
If Cern doesn’t destroy the planet (by accidentally creating a black hole), SF’s Cordarounds just might. The two-man design team call themselves an “online clothing experiment.” And what a dangerous experiment it is. Like many scientists, they scoff at tradition and history and insist on defying (and defiling) the laws of nature with their laboratory-created abominations. Clearly mad, the Cordarounds guys have desecrated men’s fashion in the past by turning the laws of corduroy on their head when they unleashed horizontal waling on an unsuspecting public. And not even a whisper of outrage from the Corduroy Appreciation Club. Shame.
That was bad enough news for the short men of America (all 50 million of us). We rely on vertical stripes to visually lengthen our poor, all-too-gravity-prone bodies. Vertical stripes are the bedrock of every Short Man Playbook out there. Without vertical stripes we’re lost. And luckily for us, vertical stripes have always been a common law of fashion. Until now. Cordarounds is again threatening to upset the natural balance of the universe. Urban Daddy reported:
On the heels of their world-famous horizontal cords, Cordarounds is rolling out a khaki-striped seersucker version with ridges in horizontal rings all the way up and down your lower half. The fabric is the same narrow-striped cotton you know and love, but it’s twisted 90 degrees to leave you with 500 ventilating ridges between your waist and the sun-cooked pavement.
OK, OK, maybe it’s not the end of the world. Maybe horizontal seersucker won’t catch on. My advice is to have a seat in the shade, grab a cool mint julep, and chill out. But just to be on the safe side, think about stocking up on some of these old-school, vertical-striped seersucker items. Before they become extinct:
- Club Monaco Dean Seersucker Blazer: I was pleasantly surprised to discover that the cut of Club Monaco’s summery suiting is much shorter than their usual stuff. The Dean blazer has high hems, armholes and pockets. The only downside is the working buttonholes on the too-long sleeves. Not totally untailorable, but a tough workaround. ($199) They’ve also got matching seersucker Ethan Pants. ($129)
- Parke & Ronen Seersucker Boeing Redux Shorts: Tried these on in their SoHo boutique a few weekends ago. As their web copy says, they feature “elastic trim waistband combined with a tailored fit, and sexy 6-inch inseam.” My friend who was helping me shop can definitely vouch for the “sexy” inseam. Or was that a look of horror I noted when she spotted my blindingly pale legs? Hmmm… They’re available in waist 30 to 36. ($108)
Land’s End Plain Front Tailored Seersucker Dress Pants: Not only do they sport those oh-so-subtle vertical stripes, they’ve got other short-guycentric stuff going for them: plain fronts as opposed to pleats, a tailored fit for a shorter rise, and they offer free hemming on all pants. Best thing about Land’s End, though, is that the inseams are available all the way down to 26 inches! ($79)- Brooks Brothers Seersucker Stripe Swim Trunks: They do look a bit naff, but at least they’re not over-the-knee types. If you’re buff or have a lot of self-confidence, you might be able to get away with these. ($59) At least they’re better than the Seersucker Baseball Hat. ($59)
- Hissyfitz Seersucker Lunch Box: Perhaps this goes too far. ($16) But it’d be perfect for a picnic — and you could wear a pair of these babies.
