Short Shrifted

Loden Dager’s designer line for Uniqlo is a bust for short guys. Actually, it might be a bust all around — when I was in there on Launch Day last Friday, the Loden Dager section was untouched. I’m talking virgin forest untrammeled, moon-surface un-trodden. Tumbleweeds, crickets, cobwebs… it was kinda sad.

My interest was piqued a few months back when I read a few early descriptions of the line; I was especially interested in the cropped bumfreezer jacket. Unfortunately, the shirts are too long, the shorts are over-the-knee types, and the jacket didn’t make the cut, either. The hemline was on the shorter side but the chest size was way too big for me. It might have worked for a stockier short guy but for the sleeves. They’re really long and have working buttonholes, which make them much more difficult to tailor.

But here’s the real problem: a store manager confirmed that Uniqlo’s Loden Dager line only comes in Small, Medium, and Large. For a store that regularly stocks Extra Smalls, this was unexpected and disappointing. Typically, Uniqlo offers a remarkably rewarding shopping experience for short men. The fact that they’re a Japanese retailer, carry Extra Smalls, the cut of their clothes, the reasonable prices — these things make Uniqlo a go-to resource for men under 5-foot-9. I believe that short men probably account for a much greater percentage of their bottom line than many retailers. I always see a ton of short guys in there. And the sale racks are always groaning with larger sizes, while they can’t seem to keep the small stuff on the shelves. So why no Extra-Small love from Uniqlo’s Loden Dager line?

In any case, it may not matter that much in this case. The Loden Dager stuff looked cool online, but up-close and in-person it seemed cheaply made and disposable. Worst of all was the flimsy cotton jacket.

But enough with the negatives. If you find yourself at Uniqlo anytime soon, they’ve still got plenty of stuff for short guys, especially for summer.

Speaking of polo T-shirts, See Jack Shop just did a post on The Proper Fitting Polo.

Polos are a summer staple for the fashionable guy, but big sloppy polos are sort of the anti-trend. Seriously, all that extra fabric billowing in the ocean breeze just doesn’t cut it… So think shoulders that sit where they should (not come halfway down your bicep), a slim athletic cut that tapers from shoulder to waist, sleeves that are shaped to your arm (rather than, inexplicably, a rectangle), and a hem that actually sits at the waist.

Although Jack is just a men’s budget fashion blog and isn’t geared toward short men, I like the cut of his jib on this one. Jack’s picks:

I dunno. The Old Navy shirt looks pretty long in the picture. But these could be a move in the right direction. I’ll have to check them out soon. In the meantime, anyone have an opinion on these?

This gent to the left is pretty darn tall, but check out that seriously truncated jacket he’s rocking. Looks like he raided a fifth-grader’s closet. A British fifth-grader attending an upper-crusty public school, that is. Any good Anglophile (or casual Wikipedia user) knows that at Eton College “from the 19th century until 1967, boys under the height of 5′4″ were required to wear the Eton suit, which replaced the tailcoat with the cropped Eton jacket (known colloquially as a “bum-freezer”).” Nice to imagine some wizened old headmaster looking after the sartorial challenges faced by the shrimpy kids falling asleep in his Latin class. Headmasters get a bad rap, I say.

In any case, I would have missed Eton’s cutoff by an inch, but my curiosity may be enough to motivate me to stop by Uniqlo in SoHo next month when this jacket debuts (May 16 supposedly).

The piece is part of the new mini-collection by Loden Dager, the latest invitee to Uniqlo’s Designer Invitation Projects. There’s a slideshow of the line on men.style, but most of the stuff looks horribly long and stretched out — more suited to the tall, skinny European-looking male model pictured. This American short-arse is most interested in the aforementioned “notch-lapel two-button blazer with shirting material lining the sleeves,” which will retail for $79.50, according to Men.Style. “Think circa ‘68,” Loden Dager’s Alexander Galan says of his inspiration. “Scooter rallies at Brighton Beach, mods lounging at Parisian sidewalk cafés, sipping Pernod in the summer heat.” Time to get the Vespa out of storage.

I’ve long been a fan of the blog A Suitable Wardrobe, a meditation on timeless men’s fashion written by Will in San Francisco. He’s a wealth of information on classic approaches to menswear. And he presents it all in an unfussy and inspired way — just like a true sartorialist. Recently, he fielded this query about odd jackets from a short reader:

Both Anton and Flusser write that odd jackets and trousers cut short guys in half. I am 5′ 7″ and assume that in addition to the contrast in materials and colors, the busy details and patterns of odd jackets would harm my look. Does this mean I should never wear odd jackets?

So, what is an “odd jacket?” some of you might be wondering. I’ve had plenty of odd jackets and I regretted them all. Well, think sock without a mate (as opposed to something “strange”). Basically, the odd jacket is a sports jacket that doesn’t have matching trousers. Great article on its evolution in Flusser’s book.

The good news, according to Will, is that short gents can still don the odd jacket or two. He cites a photo of David Niven, the old-school British actor, and notes:

He’s able to wear that odd jacket successfully because there’s not as much contrast between jacket and trousers as the writers you mention usually recommend. Niven of course was fairly thin. You should also consider casual suits instead of odd jackets to help accentuate the vertical. For example, a cotton poplin or a seersucker suit can can go to the same functions as a blazer and the vertical lines of the seersucker in particular will give you a taller look.

So whether your look is urban (designer jeans and silk sportscoat) or pastoral (All Creatures Great & Small-style tweeds), dial down the contrast.

Today. Before 7 p.m. Don’t be like me and blow it.

I spent part of the weekend catching up with old friends (worth it) and checking out Brooks Brothers and Paul Stuart (not worth it). More about that later. Right now, you need to get to the fcuk sample sale at Metropolitan Pavilion, 110 W. 19th St. before 7 p.m. today. Pray that there are a few scraps left because my friend left me this very enthusiastic voicemail a few days ago:

I’m at the French Connection sample sale and it’s amazing. It’s me and all the other short men in New York trying on what remains of their extra smalls. Fantastic prices. You’ve got to come tomorrow morning. It’s great.

Somehow, I failed to make it there this weekend. And now I’m headed upstate to visit relatives, so there’s no hope for me. Even if you don’t go to the sale, it’s a good reminder that French Connection in general is a good option for short men. They have XS sizing that’s slim and relatively short (even though it’s curiously not mentioned on their sizing chart. What gives, fcuk?). So if you miss the sale, suck it up and pay full price. It’s worth it.

– –

I might have to stop by next week and try on a few things just to feel better after the clothes-related downers I experienced this weekend. I finally got to check out the Black Fleece collection at Brooks Brothers, and I think I might have to finally write Brook Brothers off entirely. The new line looks stylish and beautifully made but I tried on their smallest size, a 1 (1-5), and it just hung off me. Maybe if you’re short and stocky or well-built it might be OK, but even then I think the sleeves would be too long. Sure, you could get them altered — but at those prices (well over $1,000) you should just go custom. Or borrow another grand and get a real Thom Browne (his sizing runs a lot smaller).

I was also disappointed in the new Paul Stuart line, Phineas Cole. My curiosity was piqued by this recent GQ post:

Paul Stuart is unveiling its own younger-skewing second line. Dubbed Phineas Cole, the collection falls somewhere between the Bastian-on-a-budget of Hickey and the fashion-forward (and oddly pint-sized) shopper Browne is targeting with Black Fleece. Suit coats — there are also shirts, trousers, and accessories — are cut shorter and closer to the body, with smartly attenuated waists and shoulders, while trousers cut an equally lean profile.

Sounds promising, huh? When I arrived at Paul Stuart the saleswoman took one look at me and said they wouldn’t fit. I tried one on anyway. No go. They only have 38s right now, but even though the 36s are coming in soon, she said they wouldn’t fit, either. The 38s were giant and also surprisingly long. A dealbreaker. I don’t know if GQ is just making stuff up or copying stuff blindly off press releases without actually checking it out first or what. But Phineas Cole is a no go for the, uh, “oddly pint-sized.”

“My friend Scotty is looking for leather bomber jacket that fits a guy with a short torso. My personal problem is that that can sometimes be found, but it’s always the case that the arms are too long and altering arms on a leather jacket seems a sin (as well as expensive).”

Jason, via e-mail

Can anyone out there direct him to some leather jackets with a good fit? I don’t know too much about them. Any suggestions are appreciated. You can comment on this post below or e-mail me directly. Thanks for your help!

Thom Browne is now officially available to the masses. No, not his new Black Fleece line that debuted at Brooks Brothers earlier this month. We’re talking about Urban Outfitters. I was just down in the subterranean dungeon that is the UO men’s department on 14th street and spotted their new house brand of “shrunken blazers,” which is almost short-hand for “Thom Browne.” They even had working buttonholes (?!). Very TB.

The $69 price point tells you all you need to know, though. These are pretty cheaply made (light cotton that seems to wrinkle easily — and no liner). Still, the fact that his aesthetic has trickled down to a place like Urban Outfitters is a great thing: It means more off-the-rack options for short men. With that in mind, the best thing about them is their extra-short hemline, which is tough to find and is one of the few things that really can’t be altered. In keeping with the hemline, the pockets sit a bit higher than usual, which create a visual lift. On the downside, the sleeves seemed incongruously long (they don’t really seem to understand the concept of the “shrunken” suit). That could be a dealbreaker for some. But if you have a decent tailor they could be shortened probably.

Overall, if you’re looking for a very casual blazer, these Thom Browne knock-offs are a mixed bag but decent overall.

One annoying thing: The Medium that I tried on fit great (except for the sleeves) but I couldn’t find any Smalls on the sales floor (I couldn’t find a single Small among their “shrunken vests,” either). And the clerk said they didn’t have any in stock.

It’s on. Brooks Brothers is gearing up to launch the fall collection of Black Fleece the second week of September with an “exclusive, by-appointment-only” trunk show with Thom Browne at their Madison Ave. store. It started yesterday and ends tomorrow (Call 212-885-6811). Fashion Week Daily reported back in July that on a much grander scale, BB’s already embarked “on the largest print ad campaign push in the company’s 189-year history — an estimated $7 million initiative”? As the inimitably venerable “oldest surviving men’s clothier in the United States” prepares to drop $7 mil on him, Thom took a few moments away from finishing up his spring Black Fleece collection to answer some “Random Questions” from The Fashion Informer yesterday. Stuff like “What did you eat for lunch today? Tuna salad on white toast,” and “What was your favorite subject in junior high school? Phys Ed.”

Why should short men care? As I’ve raved before, Thom Browne’s own boutique line of “shrunken” suits may look kinda idiosyncratic (many would say bad) on Thom, his super-tall models, or even men of average height, those same suits look absolutely proportional on small men. So I’ve been hoping that Brooks Brothers’ Black Fleece would maintain his perfect-for-short-guys silhouette and sizing — at half the price of a “real” TB. Well, I guess I’ll have to wait until September to find out for sure, but a recent Wall Street Journal article gave me hope:

“On Brooks Brothers chief merchandising officer Lou Amendola, who has been working closely with Mr. Browne, a gray-flannel style that he was test-driving looked like a snugger version of a Brooks Brothers suit. … Though not as extreme as his own label, which will continue to sell at other stores, the clothes have a decidedly close-to-the-body fit. Men’s sizes go up to only a 46-chest jacket.”

In your face, 48-inch chests and over. The next question is: How small do they run? Think they go down to a 34 extra short like Jimmy Au’s? In any case, all of the fitting details mentioned in the WSJ bodes well for us, I think. We’ll see in a couple of weeks.

On the few occasions I’ve ventured into Brooks Brothers I’ve felt like an anemic waterboy lost in a forest of retired linebackers. It’s one of the all-time classic American brands for men so what a bummer to find that nothing there fits me. Part of the problem is their boxy, traditional American cuts which just hang off a guy like me. But that could soon change. Last fall, Brooks Brothers announced they were forming

a new creative concept for the brand — a laboratory for guest designers chosen for their forward-thinking vision and youthful application of fashion trends. Creators will be invited to present capsule collections produced and marketed by Brooks Brothers in their stores across America, as well as their shops in London, Milan, Paris, Tokyo and throughout Asia.

A few weeks ago at a show at their Madison Avenue flagship, BB debuted the first concoctions created in this laboratory by their first guest designer, Thom Browne. His new Black Fleece collection rolls out in stores this coming fall. Of course all the models were beanpole tall, but his line could still be a boon for short and/or skinny men. This could just be wishful thinking on my part, but the review on Men.style.com (Details & GQ) seems to confirm that the signature TB cut that anemic waterboys everywhere love, are still in evidence:

“On the issue of proportion, Browne sent a clear message: The mainstream would have to come to him. A high-and-tight aesthetic pervaded, whether in widely cuffed floods, nicely paired with pebble-grain ankle boots, or a formfitting white dinner jacket embroidered with the Brooks sheep logo.”

“High and tight.” That’s one of the most effective pages out of the waterboy playbook.

As for price, I can only hope that Brooks’ Black Fleece pieces would be cheaper than Thom’s own boutique line. According to Men.style.com, “prices not yet set, but expect to pay significantly more than normal Brooks prices, owing to the high level of hand-tailoring,” but that could still work out to be a savings. And most of Black Fleece also seems a bit tamer than Thom’s own stuff which implies a bit more longevity. See you there in the fall.

Link: Brooks Brothers

OK, this one’s for the hedge funders. I’m going to tell you about the one (and only) suit that fit me perfectly right off the rack. This thing felt like it was made for me. From scratch. Completely bespoke. Like someone sprayed little flecks of worsted wool onto my naked body and let it dry. Okay, it wasn’t that tight or anything, but it did fit perfectly. It was an unexpectedly religious experience. One that made me keenly aware that snaring the perfect fit is far too rare an experience for guys under 5-foot-7.

The suit was made by Thom Browne, an NYC-based designer who’s generated a lot of buzz over the past few years with his “shrunken suit” look. But he’s also roused almost as much anger. Alan Flusser speaking on The Sartorialist a year ago berated Browne’s line:

Those are the most irresponsible clothes I’ve ever seen in my 30 years in fashion. To charge that much money for a coat that is deliberately short . . . the whole thing is like, childlike.

Ouch. Well, I dig the 1950s/’60s square look — and even think the too-short-sleeves-and-pants-and-no-socks look he’s got going on works for him. But even if you don’t immediately love this particular look, small (rich) men should welcome this trend. Because what’s really interesting is that while his suits look very idiosyncratic (many would say bad) on Thom, his super-tall models, or even men of average height, those same suits look absolutely proportional on small men.

Is it just me or is there a shout-out to scrawny men everywhere hidden in the subtext of this spooky video on the TB site which portrays a funeral for an extremely tall male model?

The Fit: Not “normal” in the sense of your contemporary Men’s Wearhouse-type, Middle American boxy business fit — they’re just too cool not to stand out and raise a few eyebrows. You should be thoroughly familiar with all the “rules” of proper fit and timeless fashion before deciding to shell out for something as of-the-moment as one of these suits. That said, they are beautifully proportional for folks like us. It’s almost as if Browne completely reimagined the suit for the small man and then built it from the ground up. Although he never intended this, it’s the secret truth to his cut: There ain’t no Pee-Wee effect on someone of our height and build.

Which is exactly what Flusser comes round to saying in this New York Times profile of TB in October, 2006:

“Maybe if you’re 5-foot-6 and 140 pounds, you can pull it off,” said the men’s wear designer Alan Flusser.

Fluss’ fustiness aside, the article goes on to suggest that Browne’s distinctive silhouette is becoming something of a widespread trend. Let’s hope so — for all of us out there scanning the racks that are “5-foot-6 and 140 pounds.”

The only downside to the Thom Browne suit? They run about $3,000 to $4,000. Yep. Not a typo. I didn’t see the pricetag until after I tried on the jacket and I almost teared up. Staggering, I know (unless you bought a 2007 Honda hybrid last year). For that amount of money, you could just have one (or two or three) more traditional suits custom made (a great investment which I’ll talk about in future posts). But if you have the dough and you know what you’re getting into, fashionwise, it’s gotta feel exhilarating to be able to pick up a cutting-edge designer suit off the rack and have it fit.

The suits and jackets are available at Thom Browne’s new, appointment-recommended boutique in Tribeca and at Barneys, Bergdorf Goodman, etc. For info on how you can score a cut-rate TB, check back here in a few days for Part Two of this post.

Link: Thom Browne